基于PACTE的《老人与海》汉译赏析——以余光中2010译本为例
PACTE-Based Appreciation and Analysis on E-C Translation of The Old Man and the Sea—A Case of Yu Guangzhong’s 2010 Version
摘要: 美国小说家海明威的代表作《老人与海》内容简明、语言表达流畅,蕴藏着丰富的文化内涵,讲述了老人出海捕鱼的故事,颂扬了人的进取精神、斗争精神,深受国内外读者的喜爱。《老人与海》自1952年出版以来,被译成多个汉语译本,在国内学者中掀起了对其译本对比的热潮。就文学翻译而言,将一种语言的文学类作品翻译成另一种语言,译文除了要传达出思维内容,表达出原文的风格特色至关重要。本文基于PACTE模型下的文学翻译能力模式,选取《老人与海》余光中2010译本实例,将译文进行改译以进行比较分析。同时,笔者将借助句子英汉转换程序,对余光中译本的翻译风格、用语讲究、衔接手段等作出客观评价,论述其给文学翻译带来的启示。
Abstract: The well-known American novelist Earnest Hemingway’s masterpiece, The Old Man and the Sea, recounts the story of an old fisherman at sea. Written with concise content, a fluent language and rich cultural connotations, the novel highlights the enterprising and struggling spirit of human beings and has taken domestic and international readers by storm. Since its publication in 1952, it has been translated into a number of Chinese texts, creating a frenzy among domestic scholars to compare and contrast their corresponding versions. In terms of literary translation, when a literary work is translated from one language into another, it is of great necessity to ensure that the translation not only conveys the idea but expresses the style and characteristics of the original text. Generally, on a basis of the literary translation competence model guided by PACTE (Process in the Acquisition of Translation Competence and Evaluation), Yu Guangzhong’s 2010 version of The Old Man and the Sea is hence specially selected for further comparative analysis in this paper. In the meantime, an objective evaluation of Yu’s translation style, phrasings and coherence techniques will be made under the guidance of the English-Chinese translation procedure at sentence level. In a word, this paper is expected to provide some insights to literary translation.
文章引用:毛达通. 基于PACTE的《老人与海》汉译赏析——以余光中2010译本为例[J]. 现代语言学, 2024, 12(12): 602-609. https://doi.org/10.12677/ml.2024.12121191

1. 引言

《老人与海》[1]是美国著名作家海明威于1951年在古巴哈瓦那创作的中篇小说,并于次年出版,不仅巩固了海明威在世界文学界的地位,还在1954年为他赢得了诺贝尔文学奖。小说讲述了年迈的古巴渔夫圣地亚哥在加勒比海上与大马林鱼搏斗的故事,展示了人类面对自然时的顽强意志和“一个人可以被毁灭,但不能被打败”的硬汉精神。自问世以来,该作已被翻译成多种语言,在全球范围内产生了深远影响。然而,文学翻译不仅仅是语言的转换,更是一种文化和思想的传递。在翻译过程中,译者需要准确传达原著的情感色彩、文化内涵和美学价值,同时还要考虑目标语言读者的阅读习惯和期待视野。因此,文学翻译能力模式的研究显得尤为重要,它能够帮助译者更好地理解翻译过程中的关键因素,提高翻译质量和读者的阅读体验。

文学翻译是一项复杂而富有挑战性的任务,译者不仅要掌握英语和目标语言的语法、词汇和表达习惯,还要深入了解原著的创作背景、主题思想、人物性格和文化背景。此外,译者还需具备跨文化交际能力,能够准确识别并传达原著中的文化意象和隐喻,以避免文化误读和误解。然而,在实际翻译过程中,译者往往面临着诸多困难。例如,原著中的某些表达可能具有特定的历史和文化背景,而这些背景在目标语言中可能并不存在或难以对应。此外,原著中的语言风格、修辞手法和叙述方式也可能与目标语言的表达习惯存在差异。因此,研究文学翻译能力模式,能够帮助译者更好地应对这些挑战,提高翻译的准确性和流畅性。

本研究基于PACTE模型下的文学翻译能力模式,分析其构成要素和运行机制,选取了余光中2010年译本的《老人与海》[2]为研究对象,通过改译和比较分析,探讨译文的翻译风格、用语讲究、衔接手段等。文章旨在结合具体译例,分析译者在翻译过程中如何运用语言转换、文化传递和美学再现等,实现原著与目标语言文本的等效转换,为经典文学作品的翻译和传播提供有益参考和借鉴。

2. 文学翻译能力模式概述

2.1. 翻译能力培养过程

《辞海》(1979: 10971)指出,“能力”是在人的生理素质基础上,经过教育和培养,在实践活动中吸取人民群众的智慧和经验而形成和发展起来的。这就是说,翻译能力可以培养。同理,文学翻译也是如此。具体来说,翻译能力的培养和发展大致需要经过三个阶段:一是掌握陈述性知识,即做到Know That;二是生成操作性知识,即做到Know How;三是成功解决转换问题(Do Translation Successfully)。第一阶段是前提,第二阶段是关键,第三阶段则是结果。只有做到Know That,才能真正做到Know How,才能成功解决语言转换问题,即翻译问题(Do Translation Successfully),培养和发展翻译能力(图1)。做到Know That和Know How实质上就是做到了Know Why。

Figure 1. The cultivating process of translation competence (a modified pattern based on PACTE 2003)

1. 翻译能力培养过程(借鉴PACTE,2003,有大改动)

2.2. 文学翻译能力模式

PACTE (Process in the Acquisition of Translation Competence and Evaluation),全称为“翻译能力习得过程和评估专项研究小组”,成立于1997年,主要从事译者翻译能力习得研究[3]。在他们看来,翻译能力不是双语能力,而是一种专业知识系统,是“翻译过程中译者须掌握的、潜在的知识和技能系统”,包括陈述性知识(Declarative Knowledge)和过程性知识(Procedural Knowledge),后者也称为操作性知识。他们基于假设,既注重翻译过程研究,又注重翻译结果研究,而且通过实证检验,提出了一个“迄今为止最为具体系统的翻译能力模式”[4]。PACTE翻译能力模式包括六种子能力,即双语能力、语言外能力、翻译专业知识能力、工具能力、策略能力以及心理生理元素(图2)。这些子能力在具体翻译过程中互相影响、互相作用:

Figure 2. PACTE translation competence model [5]

2. PACTE翻译能力模式[5]

文学翻译是一项复杂、知识要求高、要求创意的工作。薄振杰[6]等学者认为,翻译能力并不是其各项子能力的简单相加,而是其各项子能力的重组与融合。要成为一个出色的文学翻译者,需要具备以下几个方面的能力。基于此,笔者认为可以得出文学翻译能力模式(图3),用以评估一部文学译著的翻译质量。

Figure 3. Literary translation competence model (a modified pattern based on PACTE 2003)

3. 文学翻译能力模式(源自PACTE 2003,有较大改动)

3. 《老人与海》余光中2010译本双语美文

1. The sail was patched with flour sacks and, furled, it looked like the flag of permanent defeat.

那帆用面粉袋子补成一块块的,卷起来,就像是一面长败之旗。

2. Everything about him was old except his eyes and they were the same color as the sea and were cheerful and undefeated.

除了眼睛,他身上处处都显得苍老。可是他的眼睛跟海水一样颜色,活泼而坚定。

3. Then the fish came alive, with his death in him, and rose high out of the water showing all his great length and width and all his power and his beauty.

手是大鱼垂死奋斗,凌空一跃,高出水面,又长,又宽,又雄伟,又宏美。

4. First it was dark as a shoal in the blue water that was more than a mile deep. Then it spread like a cloud.

在深逾一英里的蓝色海水里,开始它暗暗的,像一条沙滩。不久它就散开来,像一条云彩。

5. His choice had been to stay in the deep dark water far out beyond all snares and traps and treacheries.

它的选择是远避一切圈套和诡计,躲在黑暗的深水里。

6. He was asleep in a short time and he dreamed of Africa when he was a boy and the long golden beaches and the white beaches, so white they hurt your eyes, and the high capes and the great brown mountains.

不久他便睡去,梦见少年时去过的非洲,梦见漫长的金色海岸和白得刺眼的海岸,还有高耸的海岬、褐色的大山。

7. The bird went higher in the air and circled again, his wings motionless. Then he dove suddenly and the old man saw flying fish spurt out of the water and sail desperately over the surface.

大鸟升向上空,又平举双翼,开始飞旋。接着它又蓦地潜水,老人看到⻜⻥破水而出,在水面拼命飞行。

8. In the dark the old man could feel the morning coming and as he rowed he heard the trembling sound as flying fish left the water and the hissing that their stiff set wings made as they soared away in the darkness.

昏暗中,老人觉得黎明渐近;他边划边听到飞鱼出水时颤动的声音,和它们坚直的翅膀在暗空飞过时发出的长嘶。

9. The clouds over the land now rose like mountains and the coast was only a long green line with the gray blue hills behind it. The water was a dark blue now, so dark that it was almost purple.

这时,陆上的云像群山一般涌起,海岸只余下一痕绿色的长线,背后隐现淡蓝色的山丘。海水也已转成深蓝色,深得几乎发紫。

10. He rolled his trousers up to make a pillow, putting the newspaper inside them. He rolled himself in the blanket and slept on the other old newspapers that covered the springs of the bed.

他把报纸夹在裤子里,卷起来做个枕头。他用毯子裹住身体,睡在铺着旧报纸的弹簧床上。

4. 基于PACTE的译文改译

1. The sail was patched with flour sacks and, furled, it looked like the flag of permanent defeat.

【余光中译】那帆用面粉袋子补成一块块的,卷起来,就像是一面长败之旗。

【改译】那帆上的补丁都是由面粉袋子缝制而成的,它卷起来的样子就像一面永久失败的旗帜。

【分析】原译文中“patched with”被译为“用……补成”,可以改为“由……缝制而成”来更好地描述修补的过程。同时将“一块块的”改为“由……缝制而成”也更加精准和准确。

2. Everything about him was old except his eyes and they were the same color as the sea and were cheerful and undefeated.

【余光中译】除了眼睛,他身上处处都显得苍老。可是他的眼睛跟海水一样颜色,活泼而坚定。

【改译】他全身似乎尽已苍老,唯独眼睛却和大海一样色彩明朗、欢快无比,毫不气馁。

【分析】原译文中的“处处都显得苍老”并不是很准确,因为指的不应只是身体的老化,而应该是整个人的气息和感觉都给人以陈旧的感觉;而在名家的译文中,“活泼而坚定”虽在眼神的描写上非常生动,但没有呼应到“处处显得苍老”的意思。因此,将“除了眼睛,他身上处处都显得苍老”改为“他全身似乎尽已苍老”,不仅在表达眼神时增加了“色彩明朗”和“欢快无比”的描写,用四字格更能生动形象地传达原文意思。

3. The old man looked at him with his sun-burned, confident loving eyes.

【余光中译】老人用他长晒阳光的、信任而爱怜的眼睛注视着他。

【改译】老人以晒得黝黑的儒慈眼光看着他。

【分析】在原译文中,将“长晒阳光的”这个形容词组形容老人的眼睛,显得过于描绘老人的外表特征,而不够突出老人的心理状态。而“儒慈”则更能准确地表达老人用爱与关怀凝视着他的内心感受。同时,【余光中译】原文中的“信任”与“爱怜”在翻译中明显突出了老人对他的情感,但在改译中选择将“儒慈”描述为老人的内心状态,显得更加自然和符合语言习惯。

4. His hope and his confidence had never gone. But now they were freshening as when the breeze rises.

【余光中译】他的希望和信心从不消失,如今正像微风渐起那么重新旺盛起来。

【改译】他从未失去过希望和信心,但此刻它们又像清风拂面般焕然一新。

【分析】首先,将“freshening”改成“焕然一新”,更能传达希望和信心得到恢复的强烈感受。其次,将“rise”改成“拂面”,更能引申出清新、舒适的感觉,与之前的“焕然一新”形成呼应。最后,保留“never gone”的意思,表明主人公一直坚守希望和信心,与之前的译文同义,意境更加丰富。

5. He was too simple to wonder when he had attained humility. But he knew he had attained it and he knew it was not disgraceful and it carried no loss of true pride.

【余光中译】他心地单纯,还不会自问何时变得如此谦虚。可是他自知已变谦虚,觉得如此并不可耻,也无损真正的自尊。

【改译】他很单纯,从未考虑过自己何时才算达到了谦逊的境界。但他深知自己已经达到了,也知道这并不令他感到羞耻,不会使他失去真正的骄傲。

【分析】将原文中的“he had attained humility”翻译成“他已达到了谦虚的境界”,既表达了原文的意思,又更加准确。将“disgraceful”翻译成“令人感到羞耻”,表达了原文的情感色彩。将“true pride”翻译成“真正的骄傲”,既表达了对词语的理解,又更加准确,避免了译文中可能存在“真正的自尊”一词所带来的歧义。

6. The old man’s head was very old though and with his eyes closed there was no life in his face. The newspaper lay across his knees and the weight of his arm held it there in the evening breeze.

【余光中译】可是老人的头部已极苍老,只要闭上眼睛,脸上便毫无生气。报纸横摊在他的膝盖上,在傍晚的微风里给他的手臂压着。

【改译】老人头上虽然皮肤松弛、风干,闭上眼睛后整张脸颓然无生。他的手臂压着横摊在膝盖上的报纸,露出岁月沉淀的厚重感,在夜风中毫不动摇。

【分析】原译文“头部已极苍老”易被误解为“头发已极苍老”,难免有点误导读者之嫌。改为“老人头上虽然皮肤松弛、风干”,更能准确传达老人枯槁的状态。由于原译文的“横摊”和“给他的手臂压着”部分意义上不完整,改译成“他的手臂压着横摊在膝盖上的报纸,露出岁月沉淀的厚重感”,如此能更好地突出报纸和手臂之间的压迫感。“在夜风中毫不动摇”凸显了老人饱经风霜的沉稳状态。

7. The old man knew he was going far out and he left the smell of the land behind and rowed out into the clean early morning smell of the ocean.

【余光中译】老人知道自己要去远海,他把陆地的气息抛在背后,划进了大洋早晨清新的气息。

【改译】老人知晓自己将驶向远海,索性把大地气息抛之脑后,划入清晨朗润的海洋气息。

【分析】通过将“and he left…behind”换成“索性把……抛之脑后”,强调了老人舍去陆地气息,拥抱海洋气息的决心和行动。同时,将早晨的气息形容为“朗润”更能贴切地表现出海洋清晨的清新。

8. He had stayed so close that the old man was afraid he would cut the line with his tail which was sharp as a scythe and almost of that size and shape.

【余光中译】他靠得太拢,老人深怕他会用那利如镰刀而大小形状也像镰刀的尾巴把钓索割断。

【改译】他靠得太近了,老人担心他的尾巴像镰刀一样锋利,尺寸和形状也几乎相同,会割断钓索。

【分析】“用那利如镰刀而大小形状也像镰刀的尾巴”有点繁琐,修饰语过于累赘,改为“像镰刀一样锋利,尺寸和形状也几乎相同”后,符合“主题 + 述语”的结构,用逗号隔开,更符合简洁清晰的翻译原则。

9. He was a very big Make shark built to swim as fast as the fastest fish in the sea and everything about him was beautiful except his jaws.

【余光中译】这条马科鲨体积异常庞大,在海里游得最快,除了牙床,周身无处不美。

【改译】这条马科鲨异常庞大,在海里游得最快,除了牙床,周身无处不美。

【分析】“体积”与“异常庞大”都是一个意思,略显啰嗦。将“体积”删除,译文更加简洁。

10. The blood smell from my hands means nothing now with all that scent in the water.

【余光中译】现在海水里已经有那么多腥气,我手上的血腥没有什么关系了。

【改译】现在海水里已经有那么多浓烈的气味,我的血腥味在其中早已不显眼。

【分析】将“scent”译为“腥气”,较为直白且单一。实际上,“scent”不仅包括“腥气”,还可以指其他的气味。使用“没有什么关系”表达“不显眼”似乎过于消极。因此,改译中使用“浓烈的气味”表达“scent”的更多可能性,并把血腥味的被动消失转化为“不显眼”的主动表述,以更加自然地传达作者的内心状态。

5. 反思

语言既是文学作品存在的显现,使文学实物化,又是文学作品审美价值生成的重要条件。“译者作为翻译活动的主体,在忠实再现原文的基础上,以鲜明的风格取信于目的语读者,追求译者在翻译过程中之现身”[7]。就文学翻译而言,译文之所以有优有劣,翻译水平之所以有高有低,关键在于译者是否掌握了对翻译的科学性和艺术性,是否掌握文学翻译的规律、方法和“再创作”的艺术技巧,而好的译文往往可以给人以美的印象和感受。《老人与海》亦是如此,余光中在翻译时并未喧宾夺主、过分彰显自己的“文学”主张,而是籍由翻译这个对话过程,将自己与原作者的诗学观合二为一[8],在一定程度上更好地挖掘了原作的深层内涵。

笔者认为,在当前时代语境下,借助文学翻译能力模式对译本的翻译风格、用语讲究、衔接手段等作出客观评价,有利于对标自身不足,明确译文特色所在,在提高文学素养的同时大力推进翻译批评自身的科学化与系统化建设。

参考文献

[1] Hemingway, E. (1989) The Old Man and the Sea. World Publishing Corporation.
[2] 余光中(译). 老人与海[M]. 上海: 译林出版社, 2010.
[3] 仝亚辉. PACTE翻译能力模式研究[J]. 解放军外国语学院学报, 2010, 33(5): 88-93.
[4] PACTE (2000) Acquiring Translation Competence: Hypothesis and Methodological Problems in a Research Project. In: Beeby, A., Ensinger, D. and Presas, M., Eds., Investigating Translation, John Benjamins, 99-106.
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